Thursday, August 30, 2007

Sex Mechs Tech Movie

Another movie on dildos to ad to the DVD collection.

I never thought I'd see vibrators dancing in the closing credits of a movie at Lincoln Center. But that's just what I saw at the world premiere of Passion & Power: The Technology of Orgasm ( at the Walter Reade Theater last month. The independently funded documentary was produced and directed by Wendy Slick and Emiko Omori and is based on the book The Technology of Orgasm: "Hysteria," the Vibrator, and Women's Sexual Satisfaction by Rachel P. Maines. It's a fascinating look at the history of vibrators and the female orgasm in America.

The film begins with Maines sharing some history about how the vibrator first came to exist. From as early as Hippocrates, doctors began diagnosing women with a condition called hysteria that had a broad range of symptoms, including anxiety, insomnia, crankiness, and nervousness, and that brought on erotic fantasies and heaviness in the pelvic region.

I am so going to try and make "getting heavy down there" into a phrase that means a woman is horny.

Sex Help From Creature of The Deep

Sex in the water
Originally uploaded by Xavier Castillo
"Almost everybody in the fishing business has had sex with a manta at some point," Makeburu asserts.

What!!! A manta??? You mean one of those enormous, intimidating winged things with a stinger on their tail that looks like an aquatic Batman?

Yep. After all, fisherman out on ships spend a loooonggg time at sea without ever encountering a woman, and, well, let's face it, they can get pretty horny. No, dammit, let's make that incredibly horny. Even desperate enough to do it with a manta. Right?

"Nah," shrugs Makeburu. "Coastal fishermen poke them too."

Apparently it's a ritual of manhood, done out of recognition of the dangers of life on the sea.

Before mounting one of these intimidating creatures, points out J.K. special, it is "absolutely essential" that its stinger be removed. Yes, that certainly would make sense.

And of course, there's the matter of protocol. To wit, the ship's captain, if he so chooses, is entitled to go first.

What the hell is so wrong with just jerking off?!? Why would you ever fuck a manta ray in its ass? And on top of that you have to mutilate it for your safety.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Got Any Mariah Carey Nudes

I've not seen any but now I want to for some reason.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Devil Doll

Show 818

First shown: 10/4/97
Opening: It's Friday at the dorm and M&TB have a window!
Intro: The window is going back, but a drunken Crow smashes it; while Apearlo and Brainguyus liven up a dull Roman party with pants
Host segment 1: Crow expresses interest in Pitch's line of devil dolls, Mike disapproves
Host segment 2: The bots set up a British pub, with a *very* stout ale on tap
Host segment 3:
Pitch helps Crow transfer Servo's soul, Mike disapproves.
End: Crow dresses Mike up as Hugo, Mike disapproves. Meanwhile Apearlo and Brainguys, attending Lesser God Day at the Colosseum, see a familar face!
Stinger: Hugo takes a licking and keeps on ticking

For more go to the MST3K Veoh Channel.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Pedophiles Don't Hide On The Internet

They use it to brag.

Self-described Pedophile To Leave Calif.

"I have to leave the state, really, I can't live here under this Orwellian protocol," Jack McClellan told KABC. "It's nightmarish."

McClellan did not say where he planned to go, and he did not immediately return a message left on his cell phone by The Associated Press.

McClellan has been unemployed and living out of his car since arriving in Southern California this summer from Washington.

McClellan, 45, came to the attention of authorities for a Web site where he posted photos of children in public places and discussed how he liked to stake out parks, public libraries, fast-food restaurants and other areas where little girls congregated. His Internet service provider took down his Web site more than a month ago.

McClellan maintained he launched the site as a form of therapy and wouldn't do anything illegal. He has never been charged with molestation.

But on Friday, Superior Court Judge Melvin Sandvig issued a permanent injunction and a three-year restraining order that prohibit McClellan from coming within 30 feet of schools, playgrounds and other places where children congregate.

The judge's ruling narrowed an injunction issued earlier in the month that barred McClellan from coming near anyone under age 18 anywhere in the state. McClellan spent 10 days in jail for violating that injunction when he was arrested earlier this month near a child care center at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Sandvig's new ruling also bars McClellan from contacting, videotaping or photographing children or publishing their photos without written consent from a guardian or parent. McClellan could be arrested if he violates that prohibition.

Kids don't want sex. You didn't and he didn't when he was a kid.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Crminal Genius

Originally uploaded by defekto
Vibrator robber jailed over raid

Nicki Jex, 27, of Braunstone, Leicester, hid the sex toy in a carrier bag pretending it was a gun, Leicester Crown Court heard.

The manager at Ladbrokes in Narborough Road handed over more than £600 in cash when he pointed it at her on 27 December 2006, the court heard.

Ok I think he beats this guy by a bit.

'Considerable courage'

As Jex left with more than £613 in till contents and other money, he was followed outside by the shop's last remaining customer Wayne Vakani the court heard.

"The defendant pointed the vibrator in the bag at Mr Vakani and warned him to back off," said Tim Palmer, prosecuting.

"Mr Vakani then kept a discreet distance but kept an eye on the defendant and watched where he went."

The court heard that it was thanks to this customer that the defendant's hat, worn during the robbery and containing his DNA, was discovered nearby.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Everything Is Implied

Everything Is Implied
Originally uploaded by Machine
Hahaha, I never read one of these things. Used to still have playboy subscription. Gave it up because of their hate for natural boobs.

Lads mags suffer tumbling sales, despite more nudity

Fears that the scantily-clad bottom has fallen out of the "lads mag" market appeared to have come true yesterday as it emerged that both monthly and weekly men's magazines suffered a huge slump in sales over the past six months.

Loaded, published by IPC Media, one of the first monthly men's publications to dominate the trade during the peak of the genre's popularity in the second half of the 1990s, was the worst hit, losing a quarter of its circulation in just half a year.

ABC circulation figures for the first six months of 2007 showed that other mainstays of the lad's mag market, including FHM, Maxim and rival weeklies Nuts and Zoo were also hit by a significant drop in sales.

Nuts, which is also owned by IPC, saw its sales fall by 6 per cent while the circulation of rival Zoo, owned by FHM publishers Emap, dropped by an 8.7 per cent.

FHM, the traditional leader in the men's monthly market, despite remaining the best seller, saw a year-on-year downturn of 26 per cent.

The continued decline in sales of weekly magazines is particularly bad news for an industry that had hoped they would be the saviours of men's magazines.

Maybe they should go for some non starved to death females.

Youtube Video Gets bad Review

I really don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Many web users out there will no doubt have come across a Youtube video that features a Maltese-American woman and her friend making pastizzi.

All well and good you might say. Except these two women, Mango Fire (the Maltese bird) and her kitchen partner Candy Cornwall, strut around in their knickers and bras touching each other up and having a good old time as they make them.

To be honest it’s rather embarrassing since neither of these women have the figure to be strutting around on video in the bare necessities, in fact they are not very pleasing to look at… at all. Mango Fire even delightfully explains that “a pastizz is” – and promptly gives you a quick flash of her nether regions, continuing, “when you see the finished product you will know why”.

The video is about nine minutes long, which to be honest was a bit too excruciating to get through, so forgive me if I leave out some minor details as I couldn’t really bear watching the whole thing. To be fair, there are no really bad scenes, but the girls just ass about constantly, getting shall we say, rather touchy feely at times.

Must be a Maxim reader...

Ok I Did Not See This Coming

NEW YORK - Video advertising is coming to YouTube, but it won't be the type common at sites elsewhere. Starting Wednesday, the popular video-sharing site plans to feature semitransparent "overlay" ads at the bottom of selected video clips.

The ad disappears after about 10 seconds if the viewer does nothing; the featured clip automatically pauses if the viewer clicks on the overlay to launch the full pitch.
The overlay format also gives advertisers more flexibility, he said, because they aren't constrained to keeping a video ad at 15 or 30 seconds to avoid defection. Because a viewer chooses to watch, a video ad can run much longer — clicking on one pre-launch overlay launched a 2-minute trailer for "The Simpsons Movie."

China Barbie

China Barbie
Originally uploaded by Tha Goat Rider
NEW YORK - Toy maker Mattel Inc. went to court Tuesday to declare that the name of its clean-cut Barbie dolls doesn't belong on a model's pornographic Web site.

In a lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Manhattan, Mattel said the Web site for an adult entertainer named China Barbie has tried to benefit from Mattel's success with the 48-year-old line of dolls, which includes Barbie's sister, Skipper, her best friend, Midge, and Skipper's boyfriend, Kevin.

China Barbie's site says she's a "cordial young lady" who sat behind the desks of some of the world's leading investment banking firms and advertising agencies in New York before getting into porn. It says her filmography includes "Me Luv You Long Time," "Ethnic Cheerleaders 8" and "Passport to Paradise."

Yeah it's funny.

Naruto And Your Kids

naruto: group
Originally uploaded by ilmenhin
I was watching countdown on msnbc tonight and they had story on about high school the musical 2. Aperently they are surprised by the show getting high ratings even though it is clean. Then they brought up how it might have been watched by a lot of people because shows House and others are in summer reruns now.

I see. It's not sex sells. it's sex must sell. I bet there will be a high school musical thats dirty soon. Just by chance I looked at what the comcast tv planner has to say to your 'rents about Naruto.

What Parents Need To Know:

Parents need to know that this popular anime series had a huge fan following long before its 2005 Cartoon Network premiere. The series is full of harsh language, and the Japanese style of animation is often very violent. Still, this is clearly a hit show that has captured the attention of young and old anime fans alike, so your kids may very well want to watch it. Proceed with caution.

Families can talk about Naruto's unyielding drive to master his craft and become a top ninja. He may be at the bottom of the class (and obnoxiously stubborn at times), but he never falters in his dedication or loses hope about himself and what he's capable of learning. How does his perseverance make kids feel about their own learning curves and challenges? The Japanese language and customs included in the program may also spark a cultural discussion.

Sexual Content
Girl ninjas describe themselves as sexy; boys and girls flirt and have crushes.

Strong, very frequent animated violence. Physical combat between individuals, often using weapons.

Words used by kid ninjas include "killing," "screwing over," "destroying," "decimating," "conquering," "hurting."

While there are battle scenes in each episode, Naruto does have a mentor who helps him believe in himself.


Common Sense Review:

The hugely successful anime series NARUTO follows the trials and tribulations of an orphaned adolescent boy as he progresses through the Ninja Academy. Along the way, he struggles with his own inadequacies -- both in his physical skills as a ninja and his social interactions with other academy students.

As an infant, Naruto wound up carrying the spirit of the demon who attacked his village, killing many -- including Naruto's parents. The sprit's presence caused Naruto to be singled out and ostracized by the other villagers. His one friend, ninja instructor Umino Iruka, helps Naruto overcome his feelings of inadequacy and pursue formal ninja instruction.

Each episode follows Naruto's psychological, physical, and social challenges. At times he is annoying, arrogant, and naïve, but his unyielding spirit to learn and succeed furthers him in his studies. It's these qualities that also make him appealing to viewers -- as demonstrated not only on television, but in DVD and video game sales as well (Naruto is quite the franchise).

Parents should expect lots of wham-bam, ninja-like battles in every episode. Violent fights break out between powers of good and evil, among kids in the academy, and even sometimes within a character's own self. In addition to the kicks, hits, and flips, sharp weapons and explosions are used to further color the battles. Plus, characters talk about "killing" others, "screwing" over someone, and causing ultimate destruction. Female ninja students describe themselves as being "sexy" and strong. And in typical adolescent fashion, girls and boys have crushes on each other and discuss the positive physical attributes of specific classmates.

For school-aged kids who like action and have parents who don't object to the show's endless violence, Naruto will certainly entertain. For others who want to take a pass, check out Jackie Chan Adventures or Avatar: The Last Airbender instead.

What they hell planet are they from? Oh yeah, planet canada. That's funny. I thought airbender was about war and fighting??

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Sex Doesn't Sell

Euro Phone Sex Channel
Originally uploaded by chuck_heston
It's The Crappy Shows Stupid.

We are in a period of public puritanism but private sinfulness.” By private sinfulness Kaplan meant the voracious American consumption of pornography, typically on the internet.

Oh Great. Now its not going to be stealing copy written material anymore. It will be how do networks compete with online porn.

The most controversial of the new cable series coming America’s way in the autumn will be HBO’s Tell Me You Love Me. The show is about four couples, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties, who are all seeing the same psychotherapist. Critics who have seen previews are calling it the most sexually explicit drama ever shown in America. According to the startled TV critic for Time magazine: “The sex scenes are so graphic – organs, angles, fluids – that it’s led some viewers to wonder if the actors are, in fact, doing the deed on screen.” The series features a number of well-known television and theatre actors, including 67-year-old Jane Alexander, who is shown naked and having sex with her TV husband.

But do the actors in Tell Me You Love Me really “do it”? Although HBO and the producers have deliberately left the matter unresolved, no doubt in the hope of attracting prurient viewers, Michelle Borth, who plays Jaime in the show, insists: “We are not porn stars. Our job in any scene is to do it authentically. The sex scenes in any of the episodes are a pretty integral part of the story line.” Intriguingly, perhaps as a sop to conservative critics, all the characters are married or in committed relationships and do not have sex outside those boundaries.

HBO is, disingenuously, claiming to be surprised that critics have focused on the show’s sexual content. “The decision we made wasn’t to push the envelope, but to be honest about the language of intimacy,” says the network’s Carolyn Strauss

How about something where people are naked and aren't dead. Or in emotional distress. I wish they go get some those naked people shows from Europe.

Two Virgins Pasion Ignites, House

BERLIN (Reuters) - A teenage couple having sex for the first time were interrupted when candles set fire to the girl's attic bedroom and forced them to flee naked from her parents' house, German daily Bild reported on Friday.

The girl had wanted to create a romantic atmosphere for the occasion. But when the room suddenly became engulfed with flames, they had to make a hasty escape.

The couple, both 18, were pictured naked in the paper among the burned wreckage of the attic. A charred teddy had survived but the fire wrecked the entire top floor of the house causing around 100,000 euros (134,740 USD) worth of damage.

And I can't find pictures online so this my be a bogus story but.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Mystery Science Theater 822 Overdraw At the Memory Bank Part A

This is my favorite MST3K episode. I mean you have a PBS movie staring Raul Julia what more could you ask for. How a lady with a made up straight out of the 80's name like Apollonia James, oh wait its in there. Grab a glass of cold Reconst and a bag of Flavo Fives and enjoy. Got to get this on DVD so I can riff it myself.

A little on how this came to be:

The late Raul Julia played Aram Fingal, a bored worker in the future who got caught watching "Casablanca" on the job one too many times. To be punished for this, Fingal is sentenced to a 48-hour "Dopple", where his consciousness is removed and placed in the body of a baboon, so that he can experience the world through an animal's perspective. But while this is going on, his human body is misplaced at Novacorp, causing a corporate scandal. In a desperate attempt to save Fingal's consciousness - and Novacorp's reputation - Computech's Apollonia James transfers his mind to the corporate mainframe computer, where Fingal creates his own reality centered around Rick's cafe from Casablanca. Hoping Fingal won't disrupt Novacorp's control over the world, the Novacorp's Chairman also enters the mainframe to kill him. Got it?

"Overdrawn" had aired numerous times on Sci-Fi Channel, allowing it to be used by "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" for one of their broadcasts, where Pearl Forrester decided to host a Pledge Drive to fund her attempts to take over the world, where she declares "It's day one of the Public Pearl TV pledge drive. And if you pledge at the $150 Producer Level, you can get a lovely blue totebag". During a kissing scene between Fingal (Raul Julia) and a female character in the movie, Tom Servo comments "I guess PBS means Public Boinking System". When Fingal was watching the "Casablanca" scenes, Tom comments on the quality of the movie when he states "Never show a good movie in the middle of your crappy one".

The Internet Movie Database declared "Overdrawn" among the bottom (worst) 100 films of all time, receiving hundreds of votes placing it there. The mere fact that hundreds of people remember it is impressive. It beat out Whoopi Goldberg's "Theodore Rex", "Orgy of the Dead", John Travolta's "Battlefield Earth", and both "Meatballs" 3 AND 4 as the 100 worst films. It was however voted as not as bad as Bill Cosby's "Leonard Part 6", "Problem Child 3" and "Monster a-Go Go". It only equaled the terror of "Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie", "Robot Monster", and the classic "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians".

The other two parts are at Veoh.

Mystery Science Theater 813 Jack Frost Part 1

Saw this on CBS when I was a kid. Looking at it now man, they murdered this in translation. But hey you get some LORD Of The Dance action.

More on Veoh.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 808 The She Creature Part A

Split into three parts for online viewing. Go to Veoh to view the rest.

Shameful Upskirt Video

Terrible shame that some body would something like this. I am so shocked the mans video taping of what under this young womans jean skirt.

There such a thing as a reasonable expectation of privacy you know. Why an insensitive asshole.

Friday, August 17, 2007

This Pic Should Be On A T-Shirt

teabagging is gayer
Originally uploaded by whodisan215
Marriage is very gay.

Would You Want To See Katie Holmes

Naked? But it would be with Tom Cruise in the pictures too.

Tom and Katie be warned: the pursuit of that on screen sexual spark is a fool's errand

I don't get what this little snippet of story was trying say. I want to see KH nakies. And I am sure there are people who want to see TC too in the buff. I think the writers love of the they ain't really a couple bit has gone too far.

Many of history's most successful cinematic teams had no actual romantic involvement, a fact that calls to mind Laurence Olivier's famous suggestion to Dustin Hoffman, when preparing for Marathon Man, that he might try acting. One of the most legendary examples of screen chemistry of all time did not want to work together at all. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were reluctantly teamed for 10 films by their studio; their chemistry was inadvertent, and they both rather resented it. Myrna Loy and William Powell, who made 14 films in as many years, were great friends but never lovers; their "chemistry" is not primarily sexual, but is a kind of gestalt collaborative energy that makes them a joy to watch, and helped them bring out the best in each other. In a similar vein, Doris Day and Rock Hudson's fondness for each other meant that they could produce an erotic frisson that they obviously did not actually feel.

They should be encouraged to take it as close to actual copulation as possible dammit.

MTV Asks Kids About Sex Lives

See look the microphone. It's like a penis see. See how it is being griped? Get it don't you? Huh?

You make everything out to be a stage that everyone goes through. The sexual revaluation happened because of situations that don't affect people today.

This is just more selling sex to kids crap. The Naked Truth About Boys & Girls will offer no incites on modern teen life. It is just another attempt to make it seem like all that crappy music that is stamped out. Is some how relevant. While providing titulation.

Kid Was On Cover Of Nirvana's Album is 17 Now

And had something stupid to say about it

"It's kind of creepy that that many people have seen me naked," Elden said. "I feel like I'm the world's biggest porn star."

Kids these days are so dumb.

Monday, August 13, 2007

A Love Story

Dad and Hagar
Originally uploaded by Justin Hane
Nope that ain't the guy in the picture.

ADELAIDE, Australia - An Australian farmer held hostage in Mali for 12 days by a gang of men who had posed as an online love interest has urged others to be careful when seeking romance on the Internet.

Des Gregor, 56, traveled to the West African nation last month to meet his supposed bride, whom he had met on the Internet, and collect a dowry of gold bars worth $85,000.

But when he arrived, the wheat and sheep farmer was abducted by a gang of armed bandits who bound him, beat him with a machete and stole his cash and credit cards.

Gregor, who returned to his home state of South Australia with a police escort late Sunday, said the men told him they would hack his limbs off with a machete unless he paid them a $85,000 ransom.

Me I will stick to the old fashioned way. I am gonna start a not for profit and eat all the profit with huge administration costs.

Karl Rove To Distract

That should keep the little bastards busy for a while. This invasion of Iraq and all the problems caused by these unnecessary tax cuts for the rich will go unnoticed hehehehe.

Tech Support

Ok kiddies here is the thing. The computer is not lost. They know what is wrong and are waiting until they have a fix for it. Most likely they are waiting for replacement parts. You will then get a letter despite all your info being missing that will tell all about how value you as customer and such and such.

When they get the part or fix. You will most likely be put in a long waiting line of other people with the same problem in the order your computer was received.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Anime Underground ?

Group criticizes YouTube over copyrights

The group also expressed skepticism over an automatic video recognition and purging system being developed by YouTube parent Google Inc., questioning the reliability of the technology and saying it was taking too long.

"YouTube has to stop how it runs its site and get rid of the illegal clips. We want them to reset the service," composer Hideki Matsutake told a joint press conference in Tokyo Thursday. The coalition met with YouTube and Google executives earlier in the week, the second such meeting this year.

"There is no middle ground," Matsutake said. "We demand that all copyrighted material be removed immediately."

To bad there is no way of getting stuff from Japan without going through fuckin canada.

YouTube has been immensely popular in Japan, trumping rival Japanese video sharing sites. It launched a Japanese language version of the site in June to gain even more viewers — and to post warnings against uploading copyrighted materials in Japanese.

Still, clips from Japanese TV and the music industry are rampant on YouTube. A spoof of an English language lesson taken from a popular comedy show aired by Nippon Television Network has been viewed more than a million times.

YouTube has said it cooperates with holders of copyrights and immediately complies with requests to have unauthorized material removed from the site. In October, the site deleted nearly 30,000 files after the Japanese group complained of copyright infringement.

WOW I Didn't Know The Spice Girls Got Back Together

Scary how young they all still look.